Print“Drink your tea slowly and reverently, as if it is the axis on which the world earth revolves – slowly, evenly, without rushing toward the future. ~Thich Nat Hahn~
It’s far easier to criticize and doubt oneself, than it is to show ourselves love and compassion, at least it is for me, which is why we’re drinking a cup of “Lovers Tea” today. I’m not married nor do I have a significant other in my life, although I hope someday that will happen, but I’ve learned though to be able to truly love another, we have to start by loving ourselves.
I’m feeling especially critical and ashamed about something I did this last week , which is why I chose this tea as a reminder that self-love and forgiveness for myself are the necessary ingredients for true healing and gentle wisdom to occur. I even have a love “altar” as a small spot in my house to meditate by when the inner-storms knock loudly at my door.
“I don’t know if I continue, even today, always liking myself. But what I learned to do many years ago was to forgive myself. It is very important for every human being to forgive herself or himself because if you live, you will make mistakes- it is inevitable. But once you do and you see the mistake, then you forgive yourself and say, ‘well, if I’d known better I’d have done better,’ that’s all. So you say to people who you think you may have injured, ‘I’m sorry,’ and then you say to yourself, ‘I’m sorry.’ If we all hold on to the mistake, we can’t see our own glory in the mirror because we have the mistake between our faces and the mirror; we can’t see what we’re capable of being. You can ask forgiveness of others, but in the end the real forgiveness is in one’s own self.”
- Maya Angelou~
So, please come in and drink some tea with me and I’ll share with you, the small but important treasures I have gathered together as a reminder to be gentle with myself as we honor the most import love of all, love for oneself.
My cats never judge me or hate me for something I’ve done and so Sele is the perfect co-hostess and waits for you to come in and have some tea.
We’ll sit by my altar I’ve created and as we drink our tea, perhaps the voices that are tearing me apart inside will subside and a peace will descend. I almost didn’t want to invite you over today as I was feeling so horrible about myself but I also know how important friends are to share life with and we need them the most when we can’t bear our own company.
Each item I have here has been carefully selected and gives me comfort, joy and opens a quiet space in my heart.
A long time ago, I stumbled upon Vanessa Valencia’s blog and became enchanted and caught up in the beauty and whimsy with how she creates her life and then shares it with everyone. She is a true artist on so many levels and I love what she creates, so I knew I had to own an item or two that she’s made. Fortunately for us, she has a wonderful shop on Etsy and I fell instantly in love with this painting.
This painting represents grace to me…a quality that is often forgotten and neglected in our every day life. Grace is not only about how one physically moves, but is also the internal state of ease and magic that I strive for especially when I’m feeling anything but….
I love to wear perfumes that waken my senses and leave a trace of loveliness every time I move. This particular scent is a combination of lilac and jasmine, two of my favorite flowers. It’s delicate yet heady and intoxicating and I always feel like the queen of flowers when I wear it. The perfumer who made this creates such exquisite fragrances which you can find at her shop here.
If you read my last “Tea on Tuesdays” post than you know that I love miniatures. I also found this seller, “Spirited Woodland” on Etsy and have started my own collection of her pieces. This one is my special “magickal love” table that where each detail makes me smile and is crafted so beautifully. If I ever win the lottery, I swear I want to own every treasure from here.
My love for faeries and the magickal world, started early in my childhood. My mother bought me every flower fairy book made by Cicely Mary Barker and I would spend hours lost in the world of faeries, which I still enjoy to this day. Especially, when I want to escape into beauty and wonder.
She would always bring me back something she knew I would love when she went on her yearly vacation to England and this enamel box made by Crummle’s. It’s a picture of the “Queen of the Roses” faery and I love to hold it in my hands and think about my mother and what she blessed me with when she was still alive. A mother’s love for her child may be full of complexity, but it’s one of the few loves that never dies or withers on the vine, so to speak.
And finally, the “Lovers Tea” itself…All the ingredients in it are meant to fill one with passion and love which I need to bless myself with now. Cinnamon, roses, chocolate and the herb damiana are blended together so deliciously and makes this tea heavenly and sweet and fills me with bliss.
I have to say, I do feel better that you’ve joined me today. I haven’t quite forgiven myself or fallen in love with myself as desired, but I feel less lonely and lighter of heart. So thank you so much for coming over and taking the time to drink some tea with me.
And to always remind ourselves that even in the darkest nights, that light still is present, I’ve lit a candle. I love to light candles every night and I’ve found the most beautiful “earth lights” here.
Please head on over to Kimmie’s blog where you can join other “Tea on Tuesday” participants who I know are waiting for you to visit them.
© 2011, Wendy S.. All rights reserved.
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I’m still having trouble leaving comments, so I hope0 this second message goes through.
I agree that we must first love ourselves, although sometimes we might disappoint ourselves. I believe the best in people, so I’m sure that whatever you are feeling is not as bad as you think. And I agree that cats are totally understanding and non-judgemental.
Bleubeard and Elizabeth recently posted..Snow tea day
Every day is a new day when we are born anew. Thank you for the lovely cup of tea. I hope you feel better and more at peace with yourself soon.
Debra She Who Seeks recently posted..To My Rare One on Our 8th Anniversary
Love your blog. Loved today’s post, especially the first picture with that exquisitely colored rose bud, and the Maya Angelou quote. If you aren’t yet acquainted with the work of Brene Brown, I think you would enjoy hearing her speak. She researches shame and vulnerability. She is a social worker, author, educator.
You can see a 20 minute video of her speaking at TED.
http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html
It’s a Ginger Peach Republic of Tea day here, with my 25 lb. ginger cat, Whalebud.
We can be very harsh on ourselves, more so than we would ever be to someone else who has done a wrong… so forgive yourself and remember the lesson and move onto a better frame of mind with a little self kindness. I love all your miniature pieces… there is something so magical about them.
Voodoo Vixen recently posted..Tea on Tuesday
What a sweet and wonderful blog post, Wendy! Gentle hugs and lots of blessings to you today!
Kallan recently posted..Judgment versus Discernment- Just what IS Normal in the Pagan community
Oh yes, we have to love ourselves and let ourselves off the hook now and then!!
Aine recently posted..What Ive Learned So Far
I came across your blog recently and have been simply enchanted by your posts.
I am sorry you are having a rough time ~ don’t be so hard on yourself. Although I know we are our own worse critics.
I know when I am feeling down my pets are always right there beside me.
Your altar is lovely~
~Blessings~
Funny that we are so much harder on ourseles than we are on others.
~~hugs~~
Melissa recently posted..Why can’t we find a balance…
PS. I love that candle…I am definitely going to buy one or two from her etsy shop!
Melissa recently posted..Why can’t we find a balance…
I raise my tea cup to you my dear. Be gentle to yourself…the storm clouds will pass with time and you’ll look in the mirror and see the wonderful person you are.
yes, loving oneself is the key… I wrote a post much like this a while back, and voila, Mr La Dolce Vita showed right up, so it will happen for you too! happy tea day! enjoy your lovers tea!! xx’s
I don’t know that I have any sage advice to add to what the others have said and I know in your head you know all that….because you gave me the same advice a week or two ago. It’s just that adopting into our hearts what we know in our heads isn’t always so easy.
I doubt whatever you did is as bad as you are thinking it is. Allow yourself the same understanding you give to others and when you need to know how wonderful you are read all the comments your friends leave. (((Hugs)))
Stacy Lynn recently posted..My Daybook
Wendy- Whatever it was that you did, I can tell you not to be so hard on yourself, then again I am the LAST person that should talk because when I hurt someone or do something horrible, even if it is in a moment of anger, my conscience also gets me in the end and guilt and self- loathing will literally eat me alive. But for me that is how I learn from my mistakes- it’s how I know I have done something wrong and it enables me to ask for forgiveness. Time will eventually take the sting away, you will feel better about yourself soon.
I LOVE your “love altar” and your tea is probably the most interesting concoction I have seen but it looks absolutely delicious. I have been wanting to take part in these Tea Tuesdays ( how do you sign up? ) but seriously all I drink is ceylon with milk and sugar. Maybe these posts can start inspiring me to get interesting with my teas!.
hi.
i know you feel shitty today, but don’t.
the world is so freakin harsh, and other people are always wanting to bring you down – so look. You are the schiz. You know you are the schiz, and if you don’t believe it and decide that you are totally where it’s at, then no one else will either.
So there.
Say it, sistah:
I, Wendy, am the schizz, and i am where it’s at.
Xx,
A
Beautiful words. I too was being hard on myself about something I said. I read your post and went and fixed a nice cup of mangosteen tea and sat down to relax and I felt better. Thank you.
You are doing the right thing, find a comfy place and light a candle
Your tea looks lovely and will truly help. It always feels better to take a nature walk too.
Happy tea day
Nancy recently posted..Coffee on Tea Tuesday
so lovely stopping by for tea…thank you for sharing
it is easy to be our own worst critic…self Love truly IS the beginning of all Love
thank you for the nice reminder to be gentle with ourselves…
hope you had a lovely day!
oxo
Loving and forgiving …. Like air and water! And grace is like tea
But mostly I can’t get over how much your cat looks like my kitty who is gone now. So sweet! Makes me miss my Mr. Silly. Oh well …..
Happy Tuesday, Kimmie
Just wanted to let you know that I gave you a Versatile Blogger Award! Love your posts
Stop by to pick up your award!
http://melissasmeanderings.wordpress.com/2011/03/29/random-ramblings-nay-versatility-an-award/
Thank you for the tea. It was so refreshing. And thank you for sharing your love altar with us.
Maya Angelou’s statement is so true. We always seem to be so quick to forgive others yet we hardly ever forgive ourselves.
Every morning we are each born anew and should strive to leave behind the shreds of the day before. You are a truly wonderful person Wendy. {{HUGS!!}}
Jeanne Gripp recently posted..An AA Day
It was great having some tea with you. Hope you can forgive yourself for what ever it is that you have done. You really need to do that. Life is too short to be mad at yourself. My best friends are all my animals. They forgive me for everything and so I have learned to forgive myself. Lots of hugs.
Marg recently posted..Wordless Wednesday
As you know I am in the same basket with you. Ups/downs, goods/horribles, sweet/sour. Friends are the best medicine ever for what ails us….followed by self acceptance…now if you find a store that sells that stuff, count me in. I love you so my sista, The Olde Bagg, Linda
Linda in New Mexico recently posted..I have a new name
Becoming our own forgiving friend comes with wisdom…to be unjudmental of ourselves allows us the liberty to love others who are walking in the shoes we’ve worn before. I love this post. oxo
Judy recently posted..Tardy For Tea
Hey Wendy! Beautiful post!
I wanted to let you know that you won my giveaway and that I wil be emailing you to get your info!
Blessed be!
Ponderosa Pagan recently posted..Winner of the Ostara Giveaway
Wendy, thank you so much for the lovely words you left on my blog earlier.
I am sorry you are feeling this way, i do hope you are able to feel better about yourself soon.
I get what you mean about animals helping us though, when i first got our eldest cat, Jack who is now nearly 12 I developed bronchitis. Jack came and sat with me even though i was coughing fit to burst and made a very uncomfortable lap for him. He really was a comfort.
I hope the blessings of the goddess you follow are a help to you.
Gill xxx
Gill Edwards recently posted..Something fishy going on here
Sorry I am late for tea…again. But better late than never.
This was such a lovely post – self-forgiveness is very important. And who better to offer you love and comfort than a dear furry friend. 
And such inspirational art from Miss Vanessa – she is a truly a wonderful person who spreads happiness to others. 
Take care, Wendy. Thank you for a terrific tea! Theresa