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Hello, friends…
I’m sorry I haven’t been blogging more or visiting your blogs lately, truth is I’m exhausted. I have a house full of “guests” that constantly demand my attention, argue with each other, ignore my needs and cause great fatigue, anxiety and depression.
Why am I hosting them and why don’t I kick them out, you may be wondering. Good questions! You see they’re not your typical house guests, because they’re the internal parts of me that are unrelenting and create a cacophony of chatter that drives me nuts. No, I don’t have “Dissociative Identity Disorder” (which has also been called “Multiple Personality Disorder”) and I’m not trying to dismiss or make light of those who suffer from this disorder.
I once heard the term “our internal committee” which are those parts of ourselves that have been long-ingrained and come from family issues, society, etc…and they never cease telling us what to do, how messed up we are, how unlovable and useless we are, ets..You get the point.
I’m not whining and say “Oh, poor me, I”m a victim, etc…” Rather, the path I’m trying to walk is to gain greater consciousness so that these internal voices don’t take over my life causing greater distress, depression and anxiety. I believe that we can never completely eradicate our committee, but we can learn to not only quiet them down, but also to learn from them.
There is no one right way to quiet these voices, so what works for me, may not work for you. A few of the ways I try to manage their constant chatter is by practicing “Mindfulness Meditation“, reading books that I can escape into, getting massages (I got one yesterday and heaven!!), getting enough sleep, playing with my “girls” (Miss Bella and Sele) of course, not overdosing on sugary foods (although chocolate is a necessity of life to me) and nurturing myself as gently as possible.
I need to shut down and not be as externally involved with the world even though of course I have a “house guest” who tries to shame me by not being more social, either on the blogosphere and in the “real world.” I’ll be introducing you to “Mistress Shame” eventually..
My medication issues are still way off whack so I’m tossing around on this stormy sea trying to calm the waves. BUT, yesterday, I remembered one of my favorite poems that I’d like to share with you now. This poem is so beautiful and powerfully gentle and it always helps me to quiet my mind and bring peace to my soul.
It’s written by one of my favorite poets and mystics, Rumi whom I was introduced to a long time ago and when I read his poetry, I feel this gentle and loving presence inside quietly assuring me that not only will I be alright, but that life’s challenges are actually blessings in disguise.
And so I share his poem; “The Guest House” with you…
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
~ Rumi ~
(The Essential Rumi, versions by Coleman Barks)
© 2011, Wendy S.. All rights reserved.
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Always be gentle with yourself, Wendy. Always! Hugs to you!
Hello Miss Bella and Sele — Thank you so much for all your comments and support while I was tied up orchestrating that whole Royal Wedding gig. Oh, and those Windsors needed a firm paw, let me tell you! Dear girls, snuggle up to your person now and help her feel better.
I want to share with you two of my favorite quotes the first has given me comfort since childhood
“the monsters of our minds have no real teeth”
“all my friends and relations give me pleasure.
some when the walk through my door,
some when they walk out.”
I don’t make light of your state of mind, after all I have been there. but I have found that humor helps me through the “badness” best and humor is best when shared.
be well my dear, and you are blessed.
A strategy I’ve found helpful is to ask each voice what it needs. If all you get in return is a scream of rage, wait until you can be calm, and ask again. They sometimes feel so ignored that they have to get the scream out of the way before they can talk.
They may ask you for surprising things, but this is one way to access their wisdom. I’ve found that they are quite willing to compromise, should they propose something impossible and/or harmful, as the important thing is that they know you are now listening to them, and not ignoring them.
Were I able to write prescriptions, mine for you would read, “Regular application of cats PRN (medicalese for ‘as often as needed’), and chocolate, 1X day or PRN.” And here, to start you off, is a magnificent slab of completely calorie-free 70%-cocoa dark, white, or milk e-chocolate, just as you prefer, with or without almonds, dried cherries, etc., just as you wish! Enjoy, my dear, and tell the voices Vienne’s said “Hi.”
What a wonderful poem and what a good point…there’s no escaping our inner voices…though it sometimes is quite the task to reign them in long enough to find out what purpose they hold or message they deliver. Good luck with yours!
great poem, awesome mandala!! I am sorry you are battling with yourself. ask your therapist about “Borderline personality disorder” That is an emotional illness that is always putting oneself down, always not being good enough etc etc.
As always i wish you nothing but good and love, and light and kindness!
Hugs,
Susan
May I suggest some Tigers Eye Stone and Amethyst, it may help you defeat those demons.
Laure
If your guests are not more polite I shall be glad to chase them away for you!
Dear Wendy,
Such is life!
Meis sorry Youd has @#$% TO DEAL WITH.
We has had a particularly awful year too.
We’s is sending youd Purrs and kitty head butts
Nellie
Sending healing and loving thoughts your way. I know you will win. Indulge in a little self-love – you deserve it. xoxo Theresa