Print
I’ve learned that when I’m feeling really sad and lonely, that no matter how I try, I can’t “think” or force myself out of it. I know that some can always be shiny-happy-people, but that’s just not me and I don’t know that I want to be that type of person. Whether I feel this darkness more than most because I have Bipolar Disorder or it’s genetics, or situational circumstances, or all of the above, I don’t think it really matters. What does help me walk through the darkness is calling on the Angels.
There’s one movie in particular that I always reach for when I’m feeling really down, it’s called “Wings of Desire” by the film maker Wim Wenders in 1987. It’s one of the most beautiful and extraordinary moves I’ve ever seen. I’ve never thought of Angels in the stereo-typical they’re often portrayed or as Cupids. In the movie “Wings of Desire” the angels grieve with us when we’re sad, depressed and lonely. They’re always surrounding us, even when we can’t feel them.They wish that they could enjoy the small things that humans do, like drinking a cup of hot coffee or falling in love. One angel falls in love with a mortal woman and gives up being an angel so that he can be with her. I cry each time I see this movie, because it shows the suffering we all experience, whether we’re an angel or a human. (A movie called “City of Angels” was a remake of this film, but for me it lacked the depth and wistful beauty that “Wings of Desire” evokes.) There’s also a sequel to the original “Wings of Desire” film called “Faraway, So Close!”
I’m not going to write a movie review here, because I either tend to get too intellectual when I try to review a movie or a book or I separate myself from the personal experience I have with it and can’t seem to convey what I want to. But what I do like to do is share with others images, videos and poems that relate to the movie or book I’m talking about. I’ve been in a really isolated world from everyone which means I’m not visiting your blogs as much, I’m having a hard time responding to the wonderful emails I receive from you and I kind of shut down. It’s a lonely place to be and I’m not asking for pity, or asking anyone to help me to “get out” of how I’m feeling, or telling me to “just cheer up” (one of the worst things you can say to a person who’s feeling depressed or has clinical depression in my eyes).
I understand how painful it is to see someone we care about, feel so low. But, I grew up in a family where it wasn’t o.k. to feel sad or scared and just be witnessed and loved no matter how I was feeling. I know my parents were well-meaningd when they tried to reason with me, why I “shouldn’t feel sad because of this or that” or they got frustrated with me, etc…If anything what they were doing created a feeling of more loneliness and isolation on a deeper level. I know this is going to sound strange to many of you, but there’s a beauty to be found in melancholy and sadness. It’s not the crushing pain of feeling suicidal and hopeless, which I’m not by the way.
But, I really do believe that the angels are closest to us, when we ask for their love and warmth. Just to sit with us, when we’re struggling. What does make me feel loved and safe is when others say, “yeah, I know how you’re feeling and just know that I’m here for you” or “is there anything I can do” or “I understand…” nothing too grand or demanding, just an acknowledgment that it’s o.k. to feel sad and lonely sometimes. When I accept where I am, I tend to feel more at peace because I know I’m not always going to feel blue.
A lot of pagan/witch’s I know can’t understand how I can call myself one when I work with the energy of angels because of the mainstream perception of them. For me, it was developing my own personal relationship to them that has nothing to do with a dogmatic religion or pre-conceived notion of how they should act or look like. When I can’t find the right words to call upon them, I just have to ask for them to be present and they’re immediately there. I light a white candle and imagine myself being wrapped in their immense soft wings.
Yeah, I know that wings are a typical association we have with angels, and perhaps to you, Angels don’t have wings. It’s just always been natural for me to imagine these beautiful wings wrapping themselves around me and enveloping me with love and safety when there’s storms raging outside. I always have an angel altar and I’ll share a photo with all of you some day. It’s a place of peace and centering for me. And I always watch my favorite angel movie “Wings of Desire.” Here’s a beautiful music video showing you just a glimpse of the movie. It’s not an official video, but I feel it captures the essence of the film with the images and the song called “Calling All Angels” by Jane Siberry with K.D. Lang.”
I’d love to know, do you believe in angels? How do they look to you if you do believe in them? And if you’re a witch/and or pagan do you work with them? Sending all of you the blessings of angels.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ev5byDGADKs[/youtube]
© 2011, Wendy S.. All rights reserved.
Related Posts :
Print 
May 16, 2012: Momma told us there’d be days like this…
May 10, 2012: My guilty pleasures
May 4, 2012: Turn and Face the Strange Changes
April 18, 2012: The Uncertainty of Life
Hey Wendy
Glad to see that you are around. It seems the time of year for this as I too have been battling the ups and downs of sorrow. I watched a wonderful film which portrayed angels much differently and I greatly enjoyed, you may like it it is called ANGELA. Oh but it is dubbed as it is a french movie
Sending you love and hugs, thanks for being you.
Blessings
What is it with the February Blahs? What is “Angela” about? I love seeing anything about Angels portrayed in a new light.
Oh honey, I so can empathize with you and the darkness. I have cyclothymia (soft bipolar) and have swum in the darkness and basked in the light.
I hope your angels give you all the comfort you need right now.
Dark Mother recently posted..Chronicles of a Crazy W-Bitch- February 15- 2011
Oh, I’ve never heard “soft bipolar” term before. I’m not laughing AT you, but when I hear that term, it reminds me of one of those softie freezes on a waffle cone that’s sprinkled with blues. I’m there with you swimming in the darkness and when I feel the light, I bask in it like you do, especially during Winter.
Hi Wendy,
I totally relate to you about feeling sad and melancholy. I’ve never suffered from depression or bi-polar but as a child I was painfully shy and timid. I had friends and a supportive family but, sometimes it was just easier to be by myself and watch the world go by. I do have to say a benefit of that is that I’ve developed pretty good observational skills. I can tell when a person is upset and when they need to be left alone or want company. I’ve learned to see melancholy as a friend and not fight it but, embrace it. I’ve learned to like my own company. I do not mind doing things by myself – going to movies, shopping, etc. I’d even take a vacation by myself if my husband would let me! Maybe that’s where the angels have come into my life. They’ve guided me to finding peace within myself and accepting myself. Maybe, that’s why I never really feel alone…there is always an angel with me.
We’re so much alike Joanne and there is something beautiful no matter how haunting it can be about melancholy. I even love that word. I also love my own company and well, of course having my cats sitting next to me. I think I’d go crazier if I had to be around people 24/7. And one of the reasons I do love the movie “Wings of Desire” so much is that there’s always an angel next to a person, touching us softly and folding a wing around us, especially when we need it most.
If there is one thing I’ve learned over the years it’s that there is always more than one way to do things.
if this works for you tell the rest to f@#%-off.
you are blessed and thought of kindly here, be well my dear
Flora Goodson recently posted..A picture frame
I saw the original “Wings of Desire” when it first came out and was so struck by Wim Wender’s imagery of the angels holding their people close. Didn’t see the sequel or remake however. And I love the song “Calling all angels” too — it’s so evocative and deep.
I read somewhere that angels were portrayed as having wings because that’s the only way ancient peoples could conceive of illustrating the fact that angels move quickly from one place to another. One minute they’re there and then *poof* they’re somewhere else. How could those energetic beings do that? They must have really, really big and fast wings! Today, we’d give them a Star Trek teleporter or a Tardis, LOL!
Debra She Who Seeks recently posted..Proctologists to the Rescue
I hate to hear that you are struggling, but I understand. I have my deep, dark periods from time to time. I think mine are tied to hormonal fluctuations, but this time of the year and the complete dull grayness of it in this area seems to aggrevate it, too.
I tend to imagine angels as…BIG. The Bible talks about the nephilum in a couple of places. They’re widely believed to have been angels that came to earth and had children with humans. I believe they are always around us even though we can’t see them and aren’t always aware of them. I think they are big because they are God’s warriors and our protectors. Check out Frank Peretti’s “This Present Darkness” for a good depiction. It was the book that made angels come alive for me.
Not your thing, I know, but I’m praying for you and your situation. Love ya, Wendy!
Stacy Lynn recently posted..Wednesday Wickedness – Salma Hayek
I’ve heard about the Nephilum and there are actually a lot of books written about them, although I am definitely going to check out Peretti’s book. Angels are huge to me as well, whether they’re symbols or the spiritual presence of them. I never thought of that significance about them being large because of all the battles and love as well that they share with us. Thank you for that image because now I think of an Angels love being large enough to wrap us with light. And as for hormonal blues, well, I’ll be emailing you with some really interesting health info. I just found out about myself and really want people to check out. Big hugs back to you : )
Dear Wendy, sorry to hear that you are down..I can relate with you. I am in a funk that I can not seem to shake… And you know how I am.. the fact that I can not do “something” about it is driving me mad… I am trying to relax and be my cheery self and allow it to play out… not working too well…
Angels are so with us everywhere. I agree with you in regards to your views and such as that… To me much like faery and other things that one can not prove right or wrong… If you choose to believe it then it is so.. I remember once seeing Shirley McClaine being asked why she believed the things she did and asked if she could prove any of it. She stated no. They then asked her then why do you beleive it and she simply replied, because I do…
I am sure you have your share of angels that encircle you and tend to you as best they can… May they hold you extra close tonight. blessings
Janie recently posted..Spring Is In the Air
I know for me, the more I try to struggle out of feeling blue, the more enmeshed I feel in it, like there’s a net over me and if I just relaxed and let the water flow, my blues seem to soften. I love that quote about Shirley McLaine, to me that is what faith is all about. That’s where the true magick comes in. And may you always be able to feel your angels love and blessings surround you as well.
I have been there myself…when you are feeling blue, there really isn’t anyone who can bring yourself out of it except for yourself. Faeries and angels are protectors – who you choose to find guidance and solace from is definitely up to you. Whatever works best and brings you peace and happiness. Take care and know that we – your friends – are here for you!
Theresa
Hi Theresa,
I remember once reading something really interesting and I can’t remember who told me it, that the Fae and Angels were at one point from the same source. But that Angels decided that they would always be helpful to humans whereas the Fae would be more capricious and go either way. In either case, I love the magick of both. And thank you as always for being so supportive and there for me, my friend.
Hi Wendy,
Here is a profound post… and wise one
I myself contact daily with the angels and work with them in healing and oracle readings… so… I do believe they are always, unconditional and eternally by our side. We are the ones who forget them… We forget to ask their help and support. They really do miracles in our lives
And when you say that there is beauty in sadness, this is such wise words… Yes we are light and shadow… most of us do not want to face the shadows and keep running to the bright side… but there is always a feeling that something is missing inside… Our shadow self
Embrace it and feel it is the path for wholeness. like the day and the night comes one after the other we too dwell in these both sides and we only can be whole and live a life of wholeness if we can embrace and unite both inside…
Embrace your shadows, it is called the dark night of the soul, and to walk in there brings great wisdom and teachings for our soul… Know that on the other side there is always the light!
If you need anything from me, please ask!
I would be delighted if you visit me in my blogs!
Blessings,
Ana
Hi Ana,
Thank you SO much for visiting me and commenting. I love do love your blog so much and find your spirituality so beautiful and wise. You sound very “Jungian” with you being able to embrace the shadow aspect. I don’t trust anyone who denies their shadow side and only promotes love and light. Notice, I said, “only” as I do believe that light is as important as the darkness. And I’m also very familiar with the “dark night of the soul” both from the mystical aspect and seasonally. I hope we get to know each other better, I can feel you’re a kindred spirit.
I do beleive in Angels, and mine feels like a bright light, who will sometimes envelope me with warmth. It’s a sense, not a sight. When things burst into my head from nowhwere.. is it my angel? who knows.
Now. Had I not been gifting you with a doll, you would have been my winner of the OWOH doll. You were number 7, but since we already have a doll in the making for you, and you graciuosly opted out, I passed your number to the next person… who actually lives in England! so my love…. was it the angels, or just an amazing coincidence?
Lots of love and shared hugs
Abi
I love “Wings of Desire”, it’s such a haunting and beautiful film!
When you say, “there’s a beauty to be found in melancholy and sadness” – I couldn’t agree more. It’s just as important as our positive emotions, and great things have been created form darkness.
I knew you would understand what I was talking about Leila. Working with the realm of death and our ancestors in such a beautiful way that you do. We’re more children of the night than the sun perhaps?
Have you seen the sequel to “Wings of Desire?” I don’t like it as much, but I do love the continuation of the characters.
The concept of angels intrigues me. Haven’t explored that one yet.
Jeff, I’m really surprised that you haven’t thought about angels more. I know you rebel against ridiculous religious dogma like I do. I think if you watched “Wings of Desire” it would open up a new door for you, perhaps both spiritually and intellectually as a writer. You and I have both talked about that melancholy aspect of us and how sometimes it can feel overwhelming and then there’s also the side of it that brings us to a deeper place of the soul. If you do get to see “Wings of Desire” I’d love to know what you thought about it.
Hey sweetie, You know I am there with you, and yes I know all too well when the gloom is heavy, and sadness seems to have no end, and there is no fault in it. We have to flow with it, as we do with the happy times. I am hugging you right now, not as your angel but as your friend. I do believe in Angels, and though my pagan path is sooo very new to me, I have to say they have been mentioned in the books I have read, They say angels are part of the “other world” the same place the goddess goes to give rebirth to the god, and the place the god goes to die, and the places where the spirits are, I do not think i am mixing things up, as my memory is pretty darn good. However i am so new that I do not know if that is correct pagan thought or not. I do know this, no matter what our spirituality is we each have our beliefs, I know several Christians that do not believe in Angels. I know Christians that do not believe in hell. Yet that is part of the teachings. Therefore I say we all have our own beliefs and it is because of something that speaks to us alone. I believe in angels and spirits both good and bad. I believe in extra terrestrials. I believe in the soul going on after death. I believe souls get reborn. I am not sure if I believe in past lives so-to-speak.
I do not know whether we all have our own angel, or if there is angel that just happens to be around when one is needed. I also believe, or I should say I used to believe that God put angels on earth in human form, that is to say I think some people are born that are indeed guardian angels, now I am wondering if this holds up since I now have walked away from my God of old and now look to the Goddess and God.
I have never seen wings of desire, but I have seen city of angels, and I love that movie, so I am sure I will love the other.
Lastly, I believe it is MORE than ok to ask for angel, to need an angel to believe in an angel or angels.
You are not alone, whether it is real angels or the humans (your friends) that band around you that are indeed the angels and THAT I am not sure if it matters or not, as long as someone or someones are banding around you or me or whoever, when in need.
Perhaps that is what love is, a band of angels around one in need.
Much love and blessings
Sue
Sue, you are one of the kindest spirits I know. I actually found a book I think you would love that I’ve had for quite a time. It’s called “Angels: Companions in Magick” It beautifully blends in the wiccan/pagan magickal works of Angels along with the traditional symbology of Angels without being dogmatic. And I think Angels often appear as friends when we most need it : )
Wendy, check out this post, and I believe she has another on on angels further below this one.
Susan
http://www.writergirldreams.com/2011/02/crouched-in-eagerness.html
You always find such great links and info. for me when I blog about something. I’m heading on over to check out the link. Thank you for thinking about me and sharing things you think I’d love.
WENDY~~~~ Please come see the top few posts on my blog
Susan
I love angel Wendy! I am sorry for my long absense but I am back and angels are a good topic to jump in on. I fully believe in angels and call myself a witch. I really love the idea of working with angels and for me I have found that when I need to feel their presence the most i take my right hand and place my finger tips n my forehead. I turn my figners in a counterclockwise direction and then take both hands and rub them from my forehead over my head down to my shoulders to bringi nthe energy. It has done wonders for me so let me know if it helps you!
Blessed be
Hi Christian : ) I know how bogged down you’ve been with school and I always love hearing from you and visiting you. I REALLY like how you physically connect with angels with your fingers and then feel their presence. I’m going to make up note cards with your info. and then put them around different areas of my house. Actually, I just performed the “angel calling” and when I brushed my hands down my shoulders it was if I could feel my own angel wings. You’re so incredibly intuitive and what lead you to rub your fingers widdershins? To me widdershins is more lunar energy than the sometimes dominant solar energy. It just felt so right to do what you suggested, thank you!
Hey Wendy
Just wanted to thank you for your wonderful comment on my Blog, the acorn and heart just felt right
Blessings
Hey Wendy,
I have been missing you and Christine…the blogsphere has been really quiet without you both!.
I guess I do believe in angels but I have been so focused on trying to repair my faith in God that I haven’t given them that much attention yet. I have actually been really put off by how the media portrays them.
I am so sorry that you have been feeling low, as someone who suffers from crippling depression I know these times of “heaviness” well. But this will pass as it always does, I can understand your need to respect these periods. I really hate it when my mother or sister sit down with a list of things I should be happy about, they completely miss the point and it makes me feel worse.
Like everyone else here I would like you know that I will REALLY be thinking of you. I wish that we lived closer so that we could be “proper” friends:)
If my family DARED to write a “happy list” for me, I think they’d instantly regret it. Actually you always make me laugh when you connect with me, because you just get it and I know we have to be angels for each other especially in the darkest of times. . I’m going to do the top ten worst things you can say to a depressed person blog post. Let’s compare notes, shall we?
Hey Wendy..
I happen to love City of Angels. So I will check out Wings of Desire. Sorry you don’t like COA as much, thats ok though. I should probably watch it again really soon. I’ve been kinda sad with the passing of my fur baby, Aries. I think it could help to feel something is with me through this time. I also Bought all Dogs go to Heaven tonight. It makes me feel better too. heh.
Anyways I hope you are well. You take care of yourself! <3
Jaimie-lyn Oldfield recently posted.. Pictures of Aries RIP
Jaimie-Lyn, I’m so sorry I haven’t visited you in a while and I just read about Aries today, I am SO sorry. I know how much you loved your bunny honey. You might like to visit Stephi at her blog “My Hope for the Flowers” because she also recently had a loss of a bunny she loved, you can both talk about bunnies as well as other things. She’s a kindred spirit, Jaimie-Lyn. It’s interesting I’ve read more posts about bunnies lately and I think about it being The Year of the Rabbit. I grieve with you about Aries. I have a lot of books about pets who turn into angels. I know I need to return your email and I will…just feeling so sluggish lately. Sending you big hugs.
Wendy,
I understand the sluggish feeling. I have it as well. but I have good news. I do believe its going to lift.
Since Aries has passed I’ve noticed some wonderful things happening. Our weather here is getting nicer. I think She brought the Spring. I quit Smoking, in her honor..I haven’t had one in about 4 days now. My cat, the boyfriend and I are all becoming closer then before. SO I think Aries’ death is also bringing life. And I hope that She’s sent Spring your way too. You’ll feel it soon. And then the funk will lift
Thank goodness for that
*big Hugs*
Hey!
I actually like your idea for the top 10 worst things to say to a depressed person. I have some REAL gems….although some of them were said by christians with the best of intentions but did the worst damage.
Let’s DO compare notes!