Loki, the God of Attention Deficit Disorder?

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“Also numbered among the Æsir is he whom some call the mischief-monger of the Æsir, and the first father of falsehoods, and blemish of all gods and men: he is named Loki or Loptr, son of Fárbauti the giant; his mother was Laufey or Nál; his brothers are Býleistr and Helblindi. Loki is beautiful and comely to look upon, evil in spirit., very fickle in habit. He surpassed other men in that wisdom which is called ‘sleight,’ and had artifices for all occasions; he would ever bring the Æsir into great hardships, and then get them out with crafty counsel. His wife was called Sigyn, their son Nari or Narfi.”

(“XXXIII. Frá Loka Laufeyjarsyni“)

I was first introduced to the deity and archetype of “Loki“when I was seven years old in the form of a Siamese kitten that my mother brought home one day. My mother had this uncanny knack naming our numerous pets that were mythical, poetical and magickal. There was “Frodo” a Cairn Terrier, named after the Hobbit known for his courage, furry feet and loving nature. There was our beautiful Standard Poodle, “Colette” after the French author (most famous for her novel “Gigi”) and then there was Loki.

Loki, the kitten…being a Siamese was very loquacious, demanding, fickle and charismatic, with a funny little kink in his tail. People who didn’t “normally” like cats would came to visit our family and would fall in love with him and then in the next moment be trying to escape his capricious moods when after quietly petting him, he would nip and scratch at them for no seeming reason. I was devoted to Loki though and he and I became inseparable. We always had at least two to three cats, but Loki remains one of my favorite cats that’s ever owned me.

There came a time when my family chose to move to another neighborhood and of course all our pets were going to come with us. Loki who was by now five or six, would always disappear when he saw the moving boxes full of our belongings. We had heard that he was frequently visiting an elder lady who lived down the street and we started seeing him less and less. This broke my heart of course, but as long as he came back to me, I would tolerate his feline infidelities.

On the day of the final move, the dogs and cats were all secured in their carriers. Not Loki! We couldn’t find him anywhere. We looked up and down the street literally all day and he wasn’t anywhere in sight. I went to visit the elderly woman he was hanging out with and she hadn’t seen him for the last two days either. I begged my mother to let me stay in our old house for the whole night, where I would keep a vigil waiting for him to make an appearance so that I could put him in his carrier to be brought safely to the new home.

Of course my mother had to refuse because I was way too young to be staying in the house by myself and so with tears flowing down my face non-stop, I went to my new home.. She promised me though that she would look for him at our old house and throughout the neighborhood all during the next week as she loved him greatly too. Each night I would anxiously wait for her to come home with Loki greeting me and yowling about his latest adventures. A week passed and my mother never brought Loki home.

A month later, my mother went to visit some friends who lived in our old neighborhood and happened to see Loki in the front yard of the old woman’s house he frequented. My mother went to talk to the woman and was going to bring Loki home. When she arrived there, Loki was curled up in the crone’s lap, purring and kneading with the usual gusto that he did with us. My mother knew that Loki had now claimed this woman and he was no longer ours.

She came back home that night and told me that Loki was living with the woman down the street and looked very happy. She just couldn’t bring herself to take him  away. I was devastated until one day, I was reading a big picture book that my mother had bought long ago with the mythology of all the Norse Gods and Goddesses. You know how you’re just drawn to certain people and then others you might think “well, they’re nice, but not my cup of tea.” I had the opposite reaction the more I read about Loki.

Loki_by_sigel_aka_kai

Loki was the ultimate bad boy of Valhöll and I became instantly smitten with him. He made me laugh while also making me wary of his volatile and temperamental ways. Even as young as I was, I knew that Loki was not the “god next door you want to bring home to meet your mom.” (Well, maybe my mom…)

I had never really knew much about Loki the God before I read this book. But it all started to make sense to me; Loki went where he chose to go and could never be owned or tamed by anyone. It’s not that I was willing to let Loki my cat go, but I knew that some animals no matter how much their loved and love in return, can’t be controlled and kept safely locked away. Thus began my interesting, bittersweet and intensely complex relationship with Loki.

Loki the god is indescribable, he’s a mercurial god that leads you on a merry chase and when one tries to  grasp who he is and why he’s in our life, you’re left shaking your head in the dust full of murkiness and confusion laughing all the way. I could come from an intellectual stand point and share with you all the stories and myths that he’s in, but Loki would rebel at that and cause me even more chaos than I already have.

Loki 2 by Arthur Rackham

Loki IS a very controversial god among wiccans/pagans regardless of the pantheons they work with. Loki is either loved or hated, no in-between for him, he’s thought to be evil or misunderstood. It’s only fitting that since half of my ancestors are from Norway, I would attract the attention of this perplexing deity. He’s part of my DNA and I’m almost positive that one of my ancestors made a deal with him and Loki’s just making sure that we haven’t forgotten him.

Loki’s not one to look out for his human followers the same way that the Norse Father God Odinn might. You wouldn’t associate the qualities of benevolence or kindness with Loki. Loki was infamous for making promises to everyone and then in the next minute break them, laughing at their gullibility for trusting him. He also has a malicious and cruel side that lead to him killing a much beloved god Baldr with a sprig of Mistletoe, which was believed to have lead the Norse Gods to their demise.

Loki by Adam_Metcalfe with colors by spiderguile

“The so-called civilized man has forgotten the trickster. He remembers him only figuratively and metaphorically, when, irritated by his own ineptitude, he speaks of fate playing tricks on him or of things being bewitched. He never suspects that his own hidden and apparently harmless shadow has qualities whose dangerousness exceeds his wildest dreams.”

(Loki and the Trickster Archetype by Stephen Parker, Ph.D (Article Selection and Commentary) on December 25, 2010)

If you read all the myths of Loki, he was always getting in trouble and sometimes causing great harm or death (he killed the God Balder with a sprig of Mistletoe and had no remorse about it and was said to have brought on the destruction of all the gods as a result). He was the husband of the faithful goddess Sigyn while  he was anything but faithful as he carried on affairs with giantesses, and fathered monsters and animal beasts, like the wolf, Fenrir.

Loki and Fenrir by Angie Chow

I was looking on the internet for what people were saying about Loki and happened to see one person say this at a website forum that focuses on the Norse pantheon;

“My take on Loki is this. I see Loki as misunderstood. In most of the tales about him he comes up with ideas and the gods go along with them of their own free will. I don’t remember reading anything saying that Loki planned to work against them until much later in the myths. When the idea went wrong the gods, who act a lot like children in some myths, get mad at Loki and blame the failure on his lack of forethought. Now later in the myths Loki starts doing things to thwart the gods efforts but I can only imagine that after many times of being treated in the disrespectful manner in which he was I would be a bit jaded and angry as well.

All in all I see Loki as the picked last, left out kid in the group. Smart but unable to deliver. He became bitter and started acting out. Then he does become a danger to the gods but that is only really near the end of his stay in Asgard.”

(Quote by “Esche” from online forum “Odin’s Brotherhood“)

This is one of the most apt and intelligent insights to describe Loki that I’ve ever seen. So, why has Loki suddenly reappeared in my life?  I’ve been really struggling with my Attention Deficit Disorder lately (which is nothing new) and trying to manage the symptoms of being disorganized, spacey, unproductive and general mayhem that is part of my ADD. One day, I thought to myself, ‘well, who would be the God or Goddess of ADD?’ I wanted to quickly make offerings to them and ask for their guidance in keeping my balance when I was trying to stay afloat in the wild oceans of ADD.

Loki_by_sleepyhamsteri

The very first name that came into my head was “Loki.” And I quickly banished the though of Loki helping me out because it was such an oxymoron to imagine that Loki one of the most chaotic gods out there would help me with the chaos I was struggling with. After I dismissed Loki (as if!) I then heard the name of the god, Lugh. Ahhh, finally I was getting somewhere. A hero, a god of light and abundance, yes, Lugh was the perfect god in my mind to help me overcome all the struggles I’ve been dealing with.

So for a week, I lit a a candle in the mornings to him, conversed with him, and other acts of fealty that I thought would earn me his favor. Did my ADD symptoms get any better? Not a bit, in fact I only seemed to get more distracted and lead off the path of where I wanted to go, in all areas of my life!

I’d sit down to write a blog post and the words in my head would either vanish or come off on the screen like gobbledygook. I’d make set times to do certain tasks during the day, only to waste many many hours that produced absolutely nothing worthwhile. Those are just small examples of the craziness which are typical of ADD. Something felt out of kilter and I started to think that maybe Lugh wasn’t the god I needed to be working with.

I happened to ask my very wise and insightful friend Vivienne who I met through the blogosphere, who she thought was the God of ADD?  And of course, you know who she said, Loki! This is what Vivienne said in an email to me;

“The God of ADD?  Hmm … we know that Loki, in one of his incarnations, became female (a female horse, which birthed Odin’s eight-legged mount Sleipnir, but that’s beside the point). So let’s posit him as, in a moment of Loki-mischief, taking the form of Seshat, Thoth’s wife, and becoming impregnated by Thoth. Voila! To completely mix pantheon, language, and metaphor, Loki gives birth to Athena, the Goddess of Mind, Who is an enemy of Hephaestus, the God of Craftsmanship, which requires intense concentration.  Not a God, but a Goddess, of ADD.  That do?”

I knew she was right and Loki would no longer be denied or ignored. I even thought how clever Loki was that after I dismissed his name at first that I would then think of “Lugh” and the similarity of their names. That’s Loki for you! This morning I started to create an altar for Loki after what Vivienne said at the end of another email to me about Loki;

“Y’know, if Loki’s in your life, you could do a lot worse than to have a chat with Him.  Light a candle (he’s a fire Etin, you know), and go for it.”

And that’s exactly what I’m doing as I warily wait to see what order will come out of the creative madness that Loki brings. I know that my ADD will never be completely tame or completely controlled, but really is that so bad? As long as I don’t become enthralled to Loki, I might just be blessed with a magick wisdom that burns within as a gift from Loki.

Loki and his pet by FTSF

“Myths are complex. They do not lend themselves to dogmatic teachings. The adventures of mythic persons, Gods and Goddesses are movements of consciousness; they illustrate our inter- and intra-personal conflicts, our interdependence, and our participation in the sacred. One must follow these movements in the same way one listens to music, or dances or meditates. “

(Ginette Paris from book “Pagan Meditations.“)

Loki as he appears to me may not be in your life, but we all do have that “trickster” within us. What does your trickster look like and what challenges and blessings do they bring to you?

"I'm with_Loki" Deviant Art Stamp byrandomredux

(For a really fun and interesting look at the name; “Loki” itself, check out this post by Isadora over on her fantastic blog; “Bewitching Names.”)

© 2011, Wendy S.. All rights reserved.

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