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Today I’ll be writing about “Something(s) I love about myself” for ”The 30 Posts of Truth” challenge. This should be interesting!
In my family growing up, compliments were as rare as seeing a unicorn walking down a street (at least in my neighborhood) and even today no one acknowledges things they like about themselves or each other. So, I’ll be going against the grain here. I hesitate to write this post because already there are loud voices saying inside of me, “You know if you write this, Wendy, you’ll sound completely arrogant,” “Don’t get too full of yourself, Wendy,” “Everything you write is a complete sham” and the loudest voice of all saying “People will put you down Wendy, they’ll stop being friends with you and/or spread horrible things about you on the internet.” While, some people profess they don’t care about what other people think about them, I do.
It’s not that I live by others standards or go out of my way to change myself to meet someone’s approval, but I want people to genuinely like me and befriend me. Is that odd or am I just “too sensitive” (a mantra I’ve heard all my life)? So, I’m going to treat this post as if I were enticing a Unicorn to lay it’s head in my lap. I’m sure most of you know all about the whole “Only a Virgin can lure a Unicorn” to her. I want to set something straight here, a ”Virgin” when this myth was created, didn’t mean a woman who had never experienced sexual intercourse, a Virgin meant “a woman who is whole unto herself and belongs to no one.” I like that meaning better.
So it will be with gentleness, humility, curiosity and an
1) I’ve mentioned “curiosity” quite a few times in my blog posts and I feel that my curiosity is a quality I love about myself. I get so tired of hearing “curiosity killed the cat”, my defenses immediately go up when I hear that stupid saying. Although, I have heard in retort to that “And satisfaction brought it back.” So there! I value my curiosity because it keeps me
2) Actually I have to retract the statement that my family never says good things to each other. My father who maintains a deep love and respect for me reminds me all the time about my courage and strength when it comes my having Bipolar Disorder II. So, thank you, dad. We all have really difficult challenges that we have to live with and if we’re lucky enough we may even gain wisdom from them. I would never wish on my worst enemy having any type of mood disorder, much less Bipolar Disorder.
Having this illness often takes me down really dark and scary paths or sends me to places so high in the sky I always fear like I’ll crash down at any moment. I have an incredible group of support both here on the net and in ”
So, yeah, I do have a lot of tenacity and courage about my illness. I keep educating myself about my illness, I stay on top of all my medications noting what is working and what isn’t and then talking to my psychiatrist about them, I eat healthy more often than not, I throw myself into therapy with an amazing psychologist and I ask for help when I pray to whomever is listening. I pray for the strength to surf the huge waves that inevitably happen as opposed to being drowned by them.
So far, it’s working. I also try to talk to others about bipolar disorder even when it’s still such a huge stigma in our society and hope that maybe, just maybe they might stop themselves from saying and believing things like, “if only you were more positive, you wouldn’t get depressed,” “you just need to exercise more (I do exercise) so that you’ll feel better,” “everyone gets depressed, it’s normal!” or my favorite, “it’s all in your head Wendy and you just have to stop thinking about it.” I refuse to give in and believe these incredibly destructive and ignorant beliefs EVEN if they’re
3) I’m not talented at all with crafts of any type and I’m envious of those who do while also having deep admiration and respect as well. I do have some creativity and flair which I actually enjoy. On top of being blessed with bipolar disorder; ) I also have dyslexia and ADD. I know, I hit the jackpot of quirks and disorders leading to a less than smooth academic life. I know I’m really talented at acting and was passionate about acting in plays in school when I wasn’t ditching or flunking out. How do I know I was good? Because I really love the craft and felt such pleasure acting and learning all I could about how to become a better actress. I also received genuine compliments (there’s that dirty word again) on my acting skill.
The real testament to my acting, would be when I would pretend I was my mother and call up the office at school (
4) And finally, I know I’m a ”
When Alex, my son was born, my biggest fears were that a) he would die from a horrible death, b) get stricken with a fatal illness and c) get hooked on drugs. Thank the Goddess neither A or B has happened and I pray they never will. But, I’ll never forget the day when Alex told me he was using heroin. I’ll blog about this time in greater detail for a future post. Let me tell you though, it was six months of absolute hell. He was homeless, sharing dirty needles, and on top of Heroin, he was abusing alcohol, smoking pot and popping pills like there was no tomorrow. I love my son fiercely like a mother tiger and having to really acknowledge that I had no control over him taking drugs and then possibly dying as a result, demanded a strength I never knew existed inside of me.
The above picture is my very beloved son today; completely sober for three years, maintaining an extremely 
but it’s that confidence and
Did you see the Unicorn shyly peeking in?
Do you find it hard to write, say or tell others things about yourself that you love?
By the way, if want to be a part of ”The 30 Posts of Truth” or already are blogging about the ”Truths,” please let me know, as I plan to have on my sidebar a list of all the blogs who are participating. And please check out Pamela’s blog “Sweet Soliloquies,” as she is the one who gave me the idea about the ”30 posts…” blogroll and is also taking part of the ”30 Posts…” as well.
(Unicorn Graphics from “Magickal Graphics“.)
© 2010, Wendy S.. All rights reserved.
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Wendy I love you, especially because you love yourself! I am happy that you could also talk about what you love about yourself! Your unicorn influence in this post was wonderful, I’ll be joining those posing 30 posts of truth participants, its a great idea to spread the word to anyone who wants to give it a go. Be Yourself and be true to you because you are the person I keep coming back to see!
Blessings
Faerie Sage recently posted..Truth 4
Faerie Sage you and other readers like you are one of the hugest reasons I’ve started to actually like myself. You’re always so loving and have beautiful things to say from your heart. And so glad you liked the images I commented for you. It’s so interesting how strong it was. The sights, the feelings and the aromas, all of it. I don’t often have those visions strongly as they’re not always pleasant, but it just felt so lovely and magickal when I saw you and your family.
Hey Wendy
If you get a chance let me know who else is posting the 30 truths, I am doing a participants list as well (so thats you, me and Pamela). Check out the list I have and feel free to update me on who’s participating, I’ll do the same!
Blessings
Faerie Sage recently posted..Truth 4
I think it’s great we’re all supporting each other who are blogging about the “30 Truths” and when I find more people, I think I’m going to go explore today I will definitely let you know. I went to your blog and put the name of the participants that you had on my sidebar. Thank you for collecting them : ) You’re zipping on by with them and doing a beautiful job, Faerie Sage.
Way to go Wendy…. I am dreading this post next week… But you did a lovely job of it… As for curiosity killing the cat… the grand thing is they have 9 lives… Go right ahead and be curious all you want… It is what makes us grow and evolve and there is never anything wrong with that…
blessings
Your first truth is wonderful, Mother Moon! Believe me, if I could do this post (even if I gritted my teeth when I wrote it) than I know you’ll be up to the job. Looking forward to reading your “truths.” : )
Someone else who is told they are too sensitive. Me too! Thank you for your lovely post and sharing. Hugs and sparkles – WG
WitchyG recently posted..Roses to Friends – Capital Walks returns next week
Hi Witchy G, it is so nice you flew on by with Rufus to visit the girls and I. I think those who are magickal and intuitive are “sensitive” and maybe that’s a quality to celebrate too : )
Wonderfully put. And who cares if curiousity killed the cat, he always has nine lives left. Curiousity is what makes us learn and evolve… It definately is not a bad thing…Good post.
I like what you said, Mother Moon! We who are cat people know we have to be resilient to keep walking the path, right? Thank you for the comment and compliment.
Wendy, you are SO brave! You do not sound full of yourself – it is GOOD and self-healing to know what you love about yourself and to celebrate it. Shout it loud and for all to hear.
That is wonderful news about your son – I’m so happy he is now sober and doing well. Through your words, you set an example for others to show that you can overcome setbacks in life. Hurray for you! Theres
Theresa recently posted..A Trip to Storm King
Thank you Theresa for your incredibly warm comments, it’s funny how I don’t feel “brave” but I like hearing it. And it will take me a while to acknowledge myself, but I’m getting there. I’m really, really grateful for my son being sober and if I could help anyone with a child who is an addict, now that would make me feel really good. Hmmm, maybe I’ll do that someday in some way.
All wonderful qualities! Yes, you should love yourself for having them! And I’m sure you’ve got many more too.
Debra She Who Seeks recently posted..Its the Witches New Year!
Thank you Debra, nope, don’t have any more qualities to love, I ran out of them ; ) I’ll just have to make some more up as I go along…
AaaHem…yes it is I in the middle of the night like a vampire. That is me…the one with crazy sleep habits.
I am up due to my allergies/sinuses and asthma. 
PERFECT time for me to read your post–the house is deathly quiet and I can actually pay full attention (in between sneezes waiting for the benadryl to kick in)
first: BLESS you and all of us MOTHERS, who keep trying to blames ourselves (on the inside at least for issues with our kids) AND upon recognizing that it is NOT our fault, allowing them to learn from their mistakes (or still learning in the case of my kids) and still love them, even if from afar -my oldest- daughter 28- is estranged from all of us, and she has gone thru a series of bad, bad relationships, including ones with churches, and the bottom line to her is…everything wrong in her life, is mine, her step-dad, her Dad and step-mom’s fault–mostly mine though. My son 24 is a regular pot smoker, I do not like that he smokes on a daily basis, but he is far from grown-up and has severe ADHD and ODD…in his eyes this is his medication of choice to deal with those issues. My youngest, daughter 23 I feel is a bit cavalier with her love/sex life. I will not go into details, as that is very private and not my business to discuss. I will say in many ways she is like me with other things…she is too quick to share a lot with others, sometimes scaring them away, she is too generous and gets taken advantage of. On the other hand, she has a bit of a thievery issue…very UNLIKE me.
BLESS you and all MOTHERS whose heart breaks for their children.
Albert Einstein had ADHD, and it is well known that generally people with ADHD have higher IQ levels and generally are quite imaginative and creative! SO I say CELEBRATE your quirks, as they help make you who you are.
STOP thinking about what others might think….what’s that Dr. Suess line?
That “worrying what others will think”, partially is to blame for my oldest daughters issues, trust me…not her parents. (Did I tell you she has thought on and off that she is bipolar? Personally I think she has borderline personality syndrome…but hey whatever…all of us have something)
Thank your dad, and try reaching out to your mom…WITH the BELIEF well settled into your mind, that whatever issues are there are HERS not yours, and if nothing comes from it, at least you tried, if it starts well but ends up up being the same ole same ole…walk away, and come slap me! LOL
Sadly I’ll be a week behind you, but you may list me, Pamela already has. It is funny growing up my best friend was a pamela and I had a peripheral friend wendy(we lived in the same development, pam directly across the street. then my family moved when I was 13, that was it)
I know that peeling sunburn’s dry skin sometimes pulls with it ok skin, making it sting and occasionally bleed a bit. I hope that I, and your other friends are soothing to you in some way.
Hugs my friend
Sue
Susan G recently posted..small announcement
Shame on me…I forgot to say your son is a handsome young man, but his head is partially cut off. he needs to learn how to crop photos better! LOL
and…I LOVE FB’s Day off! ok, gonna go back and try to sleep
…see ya later.
Sue
Susan G recently posted..small announcement
I”m so sorry you’re not feeling well, Sue. I used to have horrible sinus and allergies too until I started using a “Neti Pot” and then taking goldenseal/echinecea pills. I remember how everything was so painful and hard to do anything. : ( As you said which I love, “Bless the mothers.” We do get a lot of bad rap since Freud was so intent on making mothers out to be the only ones responsible for their child’s well-being and how they turned out. That must be incredibly painful to have an estranged daughter who is so unhappy with herself and stays a victim by blaming the world. Sigh…I totally empathize with you about your son. I hope one day soon he quits and finds the right meds. My son realized that he was partly using the wrong drugs because of a chemical imbalance. He also has ADD and is now taking prescribed meds. for that. Just make sure you make good boundaries for yourself so that you don’t enable him and wear yourself out. Your younger daughter sounds like she hasn’t learned to value herself which is a life-long process. You just keep on doing the work to take care of yourself and know you’ve done your best and are doing your best. I’m really looking forward to when you start doing the “30 Posts.” I didn’t realize how actually hard it is to be so honest ; ) but it feels good and I’m getting really warm and supportive comments from people like you : ) Thank you Sue.
Great post, Wendy
While growing up, compliments were extremely rare in my family, too. I was feeling quite low, but reading this post made me feel better! I always think you’re a talented writer. My blog could use some creativity, so I try to learn some tips from your writing. Good day! 
Takashi recently posted..Im so lonely
Thank you Takashi for the compliment. If I made you feel better than I’m a happy blogger : ) I think you’re a incredibly talented writer. Maybe you might want to do the “30 Posts of Truth” so you’ll be forced to write something about yourself you love. Believe me, I think your writing is wonderful!
wow posting 30 truths would push me out of my comfort zone big time. That’s a good thing so gulp I’ll join.
Loved your post. What a journey you have had. So many lessons in this life.
Glad your son is doing ok now! – we just found out in the weekend a friend is inside for 8 years dealing hard drugs. I could shake the crap out of him! Got a shock.
Love Leanne
Leanne NZ recently posted..Saturday 6th November
As I said before, Leanne I am so proud of you for taking this “blogging” challenge up. I don’t know what else to call it as it is a challenge. Know though I’ll be there along with many others supporting you and encouraging you on this journey. I’m looking forward to reading your posts and cracked up when I read your first one about your “Charlies” lol ; )
Wendy, I am so, so happy I found you on this crazy old Internet. You are a brave, beautiful woman and I thank you for sharing what you love about yourself (and you definitely should!). It is encouraging to hear yours and your son’s story. My son (19) has Aspergers, mild Tourettes with OCD, anxiety and depression included. Other members of my family have been diagnosed with ADD, ADHD, Dyslexia, OCD, etc. I never noticed most of these things in myself when I was younger, other than some OCD but recognize them more now that I’m a little older. Hearing about and from others who are living with similar challenges helps us all breathe a little easier, I think…knowing we’re not the only ones. Building a strong support network is so important.
Back to self-love… It does feel very strange talking in a positive manner about ourselves, like we’re being boastful, but you’ve described your story and what you love about yourself so beautifully, it is inspirational. Keep on going, girl. I can’t wait to read more about you!
Hugs!
Pamela
I just left you a longer comment but I’m not sure if it worked because I don’t see it here…
Pamela Sweet recently posted..My Type of Empath
Pamela, I want to apologize for leaving my comment on your blog and not saying “thank you” for not only leaving such incredibly encouraging comments but also how I have such a deep respect for you and being such a loving and strong mother in a really trying circumstance. It’s really interesting how “the fates” “God” or whomever we believe in gives us this double-edged sword to wield in this life. I look forward to reading more of your “30 Posts…” and getting to know you better. I just feel such peace and strength when I visit you and hear from you. And I know if it weren’t through this “crazy old internet” which is so true, half of the friends who I’ve come to truly appreciate and know intimately wouldn’t be in my life. It’s such a gift to know people like you.
My boyfriend is bipolar. I have seen him at his worst, as he seen me at my worst. He has taught me more than anyone I know how to use your mind as an ally. How to soothe yourself when things are bad, to use distractions to get you back on track and so much more. He is the kindest and sweetest man I know which is why I love him.
Thanks for talking about this topic which people really don’t understand and shy away from.
Honestly, my boyfriend is a lot saner than people I know who aren’t bipolar. That is the truth!!
I think I’m more sane too than a lot of people, Shell ; ) I’d be interested to hear more about how you and your man work with the issues. Both from his point of view and definitely yours. And thank YOU for sharing a part of yourself that most people wouldn’t understand and run away from. And yeah, we “beepers” can be nice underneath all our wildness ; ) Life is never boring though with someone who has B.P. Disorder right? You’re a very special person to love and let yourself be loved with someone who most as you said would shy away from. It takes a strong goddess to hold fast and love someone with a mood disorder. Goddess bless you and your love.
I’m glad you wrote this post, Wendy. It’s a great soul strengthener – I think you’re fantastic
Lyn recently posted..With Love and Hexes
Thank you Lyn, I feel so blessed I can always count on you to be someone who doesn’t give up on me and brings out the best in me.