The glass half full?

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And just like that my house is sold, so maybe the St. Joseph statue really did help. But I’ve been totally freaking out. I really struggle with changes (even small ones) so I feel like I’m just trying to stay afloat. Even though I’m not going to be homeless, it’s the whole unknown issue that has me shaking in my boots.

I’m trying to look at the glass half full, but I’m not doing such a great job of it. I’m so used to the fearful things in life that I haven’t adjusted to the new possibilities and happiness I may experience. My body chemistry has really been up and down lately, so I’ve had to adjust my anti-anxiety medication.

The biggest fears I have are:

  • Being overwhelmed up the yin yang with all the crazy transitions I’m going through.
  • Readjusting my budget, big time.
  • Leaving my house and downsizing a lot.
  • My cats adjusting to the new move.
  • Me adjusting to the new move.
  • The moving process itself.
  • And my current one is finding the right apartment.

I’m going to look at a few apartments today even though I have a 60 day escrow. I just need to know I’ll be living in a place I like. When I was growing up, my family moved constantly and I never had the input or really choice to move to somewhere new. It was never really discussed with me in a way that wasn’t traumatic so my “inner child” is really scared.

The scariest move I had was when my parents divorced when I was eleven and we had to move to a completely new city and I had to give away my dog and start a new school. I shut down emotionally from the whole move. I don’t blame anyone for how traumatic the move was, but it’s still obviously effecting me to this day, lurking in my memories and shifting my whole body’s chemistry.

I’m trying to stay mature and again looking at the new possibilities but I’m really struggling with it. I feel like I’m walking on a tightrope and if I fall, I’ll be eaten up by imaginary alligators (I don’t know how I came up with that image). Freud would have a field day with that image, I know. 8O

And my stepmother who I love very much suggested that she, my father and I all go to see my therapist next week as there’s some “financial issues” they’d like to discuss and feel that I’d be better off in a safe place with someone I trust. Oh-oh, what does that say? Which I agree but again, it’s just one more warning sign to me that I’m in for a rocky road. I have so much to be grateful for I know, compared to many people who have lost their jobs, homes and have to struggle with having so little. I just wish I had serenity and peace of mind about this move and new phase of life.

I AM grateful I have this blog and it’s one of the few constants in my life now.

So, I’d really like your help in learning how to view all my changes with a glass half full instead of half empty. Advice, support, wisdom, I would really appreciate any input. Money, security, change, loss, the unknown, new beginnings.

I’d love to hear about your experiences with any of the above or any changes you were scared of and how you rolled with it and what you learned about yourself and life. Thanks everyone!

 

© 2012, Wendy S.. All rights reserved.

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About Wendy S.

I'm slightly "mad" with a good shaking of whimsy thrown in for good measure. When I'm not up, I'm down and sometimes if I'm lucky I'm somewhere in between due largely to having Bipolar Disorder and crazy genes ; ) I'm pagan by nature and witch by choice and I have two very beloved and spoiled feline familiars, Miss Bella and her sister, Sele. Am I a crazy cat lady? I'm an introvert in the "real" world but I love meeting new friends especially in the blogosphere where I've been blessed to meet many of you. Please introduce yourself if you'd like so that we can get to know each other better, especially if you have a blog that I can visit. And thank you for flying the friendly skies of United Broom Stick Airlines with me. Hold onto your hat, it's going to be an interesting ride.
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8 Responses to The glass half full?

  1. avatar aine says:

    I have a hard time moving as well. On the one hand, I like a new adventure, but it takes me a long time to adjust to my new environment – for it to really feel like home. What helps me is accepting this, and knowing that the new place will be the new place for a while – until it isn’t anymore. There’s nothing wrong with taking your time to get used to things. There is no rush.

    When we move, there seems to be an urgency in the air, as if there is only so much time to do this and that. This probably comes from having deadlines to move out, to move in, to close a house deal or sign a lease, but in reality, settling in does not need to be rushed. Try to take the pressure off yourself by giving yourself the gift of time. Do whatever REALLY needs to be done right away and do the rest when you get to it.

    The unknown is very scary, but soon it will be the known. That is something you can count on. Downsizing is frightening too – but since I’ve had to do it, I kind of like the challenge of it, finding cheaper ways to do everything. What I’ve found is that I used to think I needed a lot more than I really did and I’m surprised how much I do NOT miss many things. Think of it as a spiritual practice – simplifying so you can know yourself better, so that you can see what your soul needs, rather than what your mind/body wants. The “stuff” sometimes hides what should not be hidden. Sometimes when we organize the clutter and downsize our lives what we find is peace.

    You are worried, and that is understandable, but there are many things about this that you have no control over. Try to focus only what you do have control over, and put off worrying about anything that could or might happen and resolve that you will worry and handle these things if/when they happen.

  2. avatar julie says:

    Hi there…moving can be a very emotional experience….but I think you will find the perfect place, I really do. When I go through hard stuff, I try to remind myself that it makes me stronger….I look back on the things I’ve survived that I didn’t think I would get through, and I tell myself I am gaining wisdom from the tough stuff…wisdom that will not only help me, but maybe someone else too.
    sending you light…xoxo

  3. All change is scary, lets face it. Anyone who says they love change of all kinds is lying through their teeth. I have moved from NJ to VA then back to NJ, so I can sympathize with the change aspect. Going from NJ to VA was a very difficult transition (i.e. hated it down there and eventually moved back home) but getting my house together and everyone settled inside said house was a snap. You are a Witch. Your magic worked to sell your home, now just pray for a smooth transition. You can do it girl. No, scratch that. YOU WILL DO IT BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG GODDESS.

  4. Hi Wendy! I have moved at least a dozen times in my life and can relate to your discomfort. The truth is, however, that had I not moved in my junior year of high school, I probably would not be here today… I was a very fragile young lady, filled with all sorts of misguided opinions by my peers as to who I was (according to them, I was an ugly, worthless, and stupid human being). When I moved to a new school that had no preconceived notions of who I was, I was popular the minute I arrived? What??? Boy, that sure did mess me up inside and I was SO ANGRY at those kids who had misled, bullied, and tormented me for years. But, the move was a Godsend. Sometimes you just have to move forward and embrace the fact that it might just actually be a path to a better life…

  5. avatar Theresa says:

    Moving is never an easy thing…especially for someone like myself, who loves to roost. Your sweet kitties will definitely adjust. I moved around a bit when I had my kitty, Patches. He was such a trooper. I made sure to keep him in a carrier during the travel phase and then placed him in a quiet room behind a shut door so as not to traumatize him. When all the boxes have been moved in – let your kitties out to explore. They’ll be able to feel safe in their new environment once the hustle and bustle is over. When my hubby lost his job earlier this year, we had to make a few adjustments financially. It was nerve-wracking – but even on a smaller income, we’ve been just fine. We don’t go out as much – and we eliminated some extras – but all is rather well. We’re even looking forward to going on a real vacation this year – something we haven’t done in two years. Moving is always emotionally wracking – but see it as a fresh start. A place to start new memories with your girls. Don’t look back and dwell on what was – look forward to the NEW. xoxo

  6. avatar Danni says:

    Wendy! I just realized that you disappeared from my Blogger feeds and I’ve been missing all of your posts for quite some time. Stupid Google and deleting Friend Connect. *Sigh* But, I’ve added you to my reader now so I won’t disappear again. :)

    Moving is such a hard transition for me, I hate it. I’ve moved 4 times in my life and I hope to not even think about doing so again for a very, very long time. Seeing your life packed away in boxes is going to be hard, I’m not going to lie, but I know that you and the girls will make it through it all just fine. The fact that my boys adjusted so easily to first the new apartment and than the new house helped me view things from a more positive perspective. I figure if my super fussy kitties can handle it, then Gods so can I! Try to keep your chin up and look at this like Peter Pan would, it’s going to be an awfully big adventure! Who knows to which stars and dreams this will eventually lead you? *hugs*

  7. avatar Leila says:

    Moving!!?? Okay, I am way behind on reading your blog….good for you for going for it and getting your house sold! We just moved in December and it was a grueling experience, but I had to get out of our old house. I felt like the walls were closing in around me, This new house is so much more airy, and it was well worth the upheaval. I worried for my cats too, but even Mr. Meow has finally come out from under the comforter and made himself at home. :) Your girls will too! xx

  8. avatar Stacy says:

    I’m guessing a lot of this has come to pass by now. Sorry I’ve been such a bad visitor lately. Know, at least, that you are often in my thoughts and prayers even if I don’t make it by to read a post.

    Moving doesn’t scare me. We did a lot of it when I was growing up, too….and I never got any input, but I don’t think many kids do. The only one I ever hated was the one that took us away from the wildlife preserve I loved so much, but even that turned out okay….new friends, new experiences, etc.

    The meeting with your dad, step-mother, and therapist, however, would have me tied in knots. I loathe confrontation and would worry myself sick over something like that. I wish I didn’t, but I haven’t found a way to change it yet. I hope your meeting wasn’t too painful.

    Hugs to you and the kitties. :)

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