The Real Witches of New York City?

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(Warning: this is a very tongue in cheek post, so if you’re easily offended by the following;

The word; “Witch” (and how I’ll be using it here) whether you practice the craft or not and feel it has a negative connotation.

How I illustrate the use of magick and ritual in this post.

or any other by-the-book wiccan rules and credo.

You may not want to read this post.)

That being said, let’s dive into who the heck I’m talking about when I say “the real witches of New York.” I’m going to admit a guilty secret here, I happen to like watching certain t.v. shows that are considered “junk, worthless, a waste of time, etc..” because they either amuse me or give me a break from the serious and intense world I happen to dwell in most of the time.

Bravo Television Channel has a series called; “The Real Housewives of….” which centers on five or more “housewives” who show the viewers what it’s like to be one of them and take you into a “real life” unscripted peek into their lives. There’s the housewives of New York City, Orange County, New Jersey (my favorite), DC, Atlanta, Miami and Beverly Hills.  Housewives come and go, there’s new seasons each year, new situations, etc…

Normally, I don’t like shows that have women backstab each other, get into cat fights, negate other women, and give a tainted meaning to the word “friendship.” I grew up with a mother who was so competitive and bitter towards me that I just figured that all girls/women would feel that way towards me and so chose to befriend more boys than females.

It wasn’t until my divorce that I knew that I needed other women in my life to show me how necessary and healing other women can be and how valuable their friendships are. It was at this same point that I discovered a local Dianic witch’s circle (Circle of Aradia) that embraced me and restored my connection to other women. I no longer attend their events or circles but the gifts and blessings I received from there will last me the rest of my life.

I’m still friends with a lot of men, but I would never, ever give up or betray my “sisters.” I also know that the shadow side of women still exists and is sometimes portrayed in larger than life ways like it’s shown in “The Real Housewives of…” series. I don’t know what it is that draws me so much to watching the chaos and melodramatic plays that are enacted by the housewives. Perhaps an archetypal connection? The sheer superficiality of it all? The reminder of how NOT to be with my women friends? Perhaps all of the above. If you like watching these shows, I’d love to hear what draws you.

Current Cast of "The Real Housewives of N.Y." Season 4

Back to the “witches” part, I haven’t forgotten that. In this particular series of the housewives of New York, there is constant conflict that gets really ugly and yet the next minute frenemies turn into allies and then it reverses again. There are two housewives in particular who had a horrible confrontation last season with each other that was pathetic and brutal to watch.

One of these women is Jill Zarin, who’s very outspoken, brash, extroverted, funny and domineering. This is Jill;

Then the other woman who has had this ongoing conflict is Alex McCord. Alex is reserved, introverted, artsy, colder but also much more loyal to her selective friends. This is Alex;

Both women have qualities that I shudder at and also admire. Why they got into such a huge clash is too long and detailed to go into here, you can read/watch all about it if you want to at the Bravo Channel. And of course the other housewives also have their struggles with themselves and each other as well, but I’m only going to focus on Jill and Alex.

Between the seasons air, the viewer is lead to believe that the housewives really don’t socialize with each other at all, unless they have solid friendships. Jill, who was really a basket case last season, announced to the other housewives on this season, that she changed into a more mature and evolved person. Alex kept her mistrust and skepticism about Jill’s growth and was therefore leery when Jill told her that she wanted to come over to Alex’s house to make amends and talk out their past differences.

Alex greets Jill with her usual frostiness but let’s her in hesitantly. After a while of going back and forth with both of them analyzing why they felt this way and that which lead them to avoid each other like the plague, Jill has a suggestion. This is where the witchy part comes in.

Jill says to Alex, (I’m paraphrasing here), ‘Alex, I have an idea and just humour me. I’d like to write down all the things we’re angry about on a piece of paper, the nasty things we said to each other and our regrets and then burn the papers that we’ve written up to RELEASE all the negativity so that we can move forward and make a new beginning with each other.”

“In every ritual, we connect to something larger than ourselves, evoking a higher force to be with us. Thus, we are able to bring a sacred feeling to ordinary events, transforming them into times of quiet reflection and concentration. They guide us in our day-to-day lives, and lead us to a higher spiritual ground. They mark significant times, ease us through transitions-and especially in times of rapid change-bring structure and stability into our lives. It’s possible to gain valuable, new found benefits from the ordinary things we already do as well to heal old wounds, even when the person we hurt or were hurt by cannot participate.”

(from “THE JOY OF RITUAL: Spiritual Recipies to Celebrate Milestones, Ease Transitions, and Make Every Day Sacred” by Barbara Biziou.)

And so Alex agrees and we see them with their pieces of paper filled with toxic thoughts and feelings being burned up in Alex’s backyard B.B.Q. grill. And as the papers were on fire, I swear they looked relieved and happier and a true magick seemed to be occurring.

Whoa, did they just perform a magickal ritual? I thought as I watched this scene. I know that THEY would never use the word magick or witches, (far from it) but yet, those of us who do perform rituals of any type may have done the exact same type of letting go of unwanted energies. I have at least. There WAS a new depth to Jill that I would never have guessed at and I was pretty dumbfounded when I saw their ritual unfold.

If you replace the B.B.Q. with a cauldron or candle, add a “so mote it be” or “for the highest good of all” at the end, and possibly add this spell/ritual to a Book of Shadows, then one might understand why I consider them witches and their use of magick. Magick is highly symbolic and rituals are rituals no matter what type of spiritual/religious path one walks. I don’t know where Jill came up with this idea, so perhaps the Goddess inspired her.

“Rituals can be used for many purposes-connecting with others, healing, enhancing creativity, ushering in a new life stage and even simply acknowledging daily routines. They can take seconds or hours. They can be simple or complex, traditional or created in the moment to meet a specific need.”

(“THE JOY OF RITUAL: Spiritual Recipies to Celebrate Milestones, Ease Transitions, and Make Every Day Sacred” by Barbara Biziou.)

We’ll see if the magick really holds and they’re able to maintain at least a healthy respect and civil attitude towards each other as the season unfolds. I can’t help but think that the ultimate Goddess of women and their friendships, Artemis, smiled down watching Alex and Jill and had a slim hope that shone like a new crescent moon that all is not lost for the ‘real witches of New York City.’

Have any of you performed a similar ritual either alone or with another when you’ve been hurt or angry to let go of the past and move on? I’d love to hear about it.

© 2011, Wendy S.. All rights reserved.

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