I don’t know why I’ve been so resistant to blogging lately. I guess my mind and world are changing so much that focusing and sitting down to actually writing something seems to take on a Herculean effort even though that’s of my own making. And change will be a large part of my life the next six months, that’s unavoidable. I promised the Universe that I’d blog about intuition vs. fear if I got the apartment and I did get the apartment!
I tell you, the day that I was accepted was full of hand wringing and gnashing my teeth because there was so much ridiculousness over whether I could pay my rent or not. Fear really kicked on overdrive inside of me and the calm voice of intuition saying that “whatever happens, Wendy, you’ll be fine. If not this apartment than something better will appear.”
I have a hard time sitting down with intuition and clarity for a cup of tea when chaos is going on around me. Well, chaos is too strong a word, but uncertainty seems to be playing a number on me. My home is where I feel most secure and I’ve accepted the fact that I’ll be leaving my house within a month, but that still doesn’t mean that I’ve surrendered to the unknowing of everything going on! I’ve accepted that for quite some time now and am looking forward to the change of living somewhere new for the most part. So, now at least I have the security of knowing where I’ll be living for who knows how many years.
When I put out the wish into the world that I find a place “where my cats and I will be happy at and that where we can live a long time at” I didn’t add and ‘may the process be smooth and easy.” Again, when sending out intention into the world for a wish, try to cover all basis’.
Isn’t this what faith is all about though? That calm and sure voice inside that assures us that no matter what happens, it’ll all work out. Quite different from the flidgety voice of hope (at least for me) that weighs everything on some external scale where there’s no guarantee of anything. Give me faith over hope anytime.
I could bore you with the latest struggles over this apartment but I don’t want to give into fear. It has to do with re-carpeting which is rather silly but dealing with managers (not my future landlady whom I adore) is frustrating and demands nothing but patience from me. So, every day I ask the Universe for patience and that authentic voice of faith that says “this too shall pass and everything unfolds exactly as it needs to.”
How do any of you handle uncertainty?
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